FEAR of Failure
Today was another “one of those days”. Rehearsal with my high school band; we got to a more difficult passage of music for the percussionists and they stare at me. “I can’t do this.” “This is too hard.” We slow the passage way down. They continue to stare at me. I break it down measure by measure. They continue to stare. No attempt, no try. “I. Can’t. Do. This.” is all I heard. (Side note: this music was not too hard. Nothing smaller than an eighth note and some mild syncopation.) The fear of playing something wrong was so strong that my students literally froze in their tracks.
I wish I could say that this was the first time I have experienced this. I’ve seen this many times in my younger students, especially (8th grade through sophomores). They physically can’t make a mistake. And unfortunately it isn’t like they are practicing SO MUCH that they don’t make mistakes, it’s that they are so afraid to make one, they won’t try. It’s a crippling fear for some of my students and it’s driving me nuts! What are we doing to our children that they fear failure?
There are so many great things in our lives that were MISTAKES! The following things were invented because someone FAILED:
Microwave Oven
Penicillin
The printer
X-rays
Artificial sugar
Post-it notes
Potato chips
Coca Cola
Chocolate chip cookies
Plastic
I left the high school thinking I needed to write something, and almost immediately got this email from one of the middle school teachers. A perfect and timely email. I will be sharing this with my students on Monday.
Avoiding failure is the best way to increase your chances of it. Working well through failure is a much more secure way to, not necessarily experience less failure, but achieve more and better over time. The highest levels of success still experience a frequent failure. It just gets accelerated through and put to better use.
It’s interesting how people convince themselves that not trying, and therefore not achieving, is better than trying and having a chance to fail or achieve. The first option guarantees failure, yet people don’t fear it. Why? Because it doesn’t bring the potential for the real fears: rejection, loss of image, and ego damage.
It turns out if you aren’t worried about rejection, image, or ego, there is little to fear in the failure and everything to gain in the opportunity.
You get to choose your response. Even if you never got to choose your circumstance.
Embrace the chase. Do the work.
Happy Weekend!
Steph Williamson
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