Yesterday came the news of Iowa schools being shut down for the remainder of the school year. I wasn't surprised, it is the right thing to do, but it hurt. Maybe just the realization that I won't get to put closure on the school year, see the 8th grade students become high schoolers, watch the seniors walk across the stage, hear about the prom adventures in my office before school, or give a student a pat on the back for accomplishing something they've worked toward all year.
I'm sad for friends retiring this year who don't get a proper ending to a lifetime of teaching. I'm sad for my daughter, who deserves more than mommy teaching her some math facts for a 1st grade education. I'm sad for sports seasons cancelled, for athletes competing in what would have been final seasons. I'm sad for student teachers, who only had 2 months of teaching experience and will enter an unstable job market, seemingly unprepared. I'm sad for employees whose jobs are now gone, with questions about returning to "normal".
I think many of us went to a dark place yesterday. I'm not going to lie, I cried. And I'm not a crier. It takes a lot to make me cry, and yesterday I cried. I cried out of anger, frustration, grief, fear, anxiety, and sadness. Yesterday I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Everything was dark.
Today is only slightly better. I haven't cried yet, and hope I don't. I'm going to get outside, play with my daughter, take a walk with my dog. I'm going to do 2 loads of dishes, attempt to cook 3 meals, and try to keep Sophie off her iPad, because that is my new reality. I'm going to put on my weekend sweatpants and make another pot of coffee. I'm going to try to find the light at the end of the tunnel, even if I have to bust out some walls.
A friend wrote this yesterday on Facebook, and I'm stealing it. Thanks, Kelly.
"I don't have words. But I know, the next time I step on a podium, I won't take for granted the view I have."
Much love.
Steph Williamson
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